I despise crediting my mother for more than she’s already received because, although she regularly engages in activities that keep her ego in check—like attending church and living in the Midwest in general—the volume of things she does right continues to grow so large that it’s only a matter of time before she gives in to temptation and becomes insufferable.
God bless her – she deserves it.
So, what does my mother deserve credit for? Demonstrating what it takes – she’s a killer.
How’s that?
My mom is 67, I think. She’s lived in Wisconsin her entire life and somehow retained a small frame and never became an alcoholic.
Why is that impressive? That’s like swimming and not getting wet – visit Wisconsin sometime and see what I mean.
Anyway, how did she do it? Easy – she’s a killer. Sure, she’ll make you a casserole (with lean turkey, of course) and favors Lulu Lemon and Talbot aesthetics, but this unassuming woman is not just some toothless church lady who’ll watch your dog if you’re out of town for free – she’s a killer.
What’s a killer? A killer is someone who wants something and ruthlessly executes to get it. Killers don’t care about your opinion, what the rest of the world is doing, or what’s ‘normal.’ Killers know what they want and need to do to get it—and most importantly of all, Killer kill – they reveal themselves through their actions.
How does my mom do that? An easy example is that this loon never leaves the house with healthy food in her purse.
This might not sound like killer behavior, but realize that if your goal is to eat healthy in Wisconsin and venture outside your house, your entire environment is primed with hyperpalatable, processed, super-sized food portions at every turn.
And here’s the thing – if you leave your house and don’t have a plan, guess what happens? You get hungry, and then you eat shit.
But my mah? She never does. Why? Because she always has healthy food that is aligned with her goals in her purse.
That’s not normal. People might not say anything, but they think, “What a weirdo.”
She doesn’t give a shit (darn). She doesn’t want to be normal if normal for a 67-year-old woman in Wisconsin is having a BMI more than half her age.
So she carries on eating her bird food out of her purse while everyone around her clogs their veins and judges her.
The same goes for alcohol. In Wisconsin, when someone says they had a ‘sober night,’ that means they had less than three beers. Go ahead and load up a map of the United States that charts alcohol consumption. The darker the blue, the more the consumption. Anything jumps out at you?
Yeah – the entire state of Wisconsin is drunk at all times. But not my mah – she hasn’t had a drink since I won Alt for Norge, and we bought a shot on a dock in Oslo, Norway, in 2011, and even then, I think she spit half of it out.
But no matter how blue the state of Wisconsin is, one thing is clear—my mother isn’t contributing to it. Once again, she demonstrates the attributes of a killer: the ability to be in the water without being wet. She decided long ago that her best life involved NOT drinking, so she doesn’t, even if she lives in a place where that makes you weird.
I’m bringing all this up because the season is winding down, and as you zoom out and assess 2024, I see a few disappointed faces in the crowd. The New Year vows, the A races, the process didn’t go as planned—not everyone achieved what they wanted to achieve.
I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, think about my mom eating carrots from a purse.
However, I’d like to violently suggest that it’s your fault you failed, probably.
Why?
Here are a few simple questions: Were you eating food out of a purse at the Pizza Pit restaurant? Were you sipping water at the frat party?
Those questions were not about pizza or booze.
What I mean is, were you a killer? Do you never leave the house without your purse food? Did you say no to the drinks?
Because—and I am guilty of this as well—there’s always a Pizza Pit and drinks.
There’s always some situation you didn’t choose (or did choose) where you’re unprepared and have to make choices that interfere with your goals, feel forced to compromise, and say, “Tomorrow.”
But there it is – that’s the difference. That’s why you failed.
You didn’t get the desired outcomes because you weren’t a killer. A killer doesn’t say ‘tomorrow’; a killer says ‘today.’
Why?
The results you want, that elevated self you imagine, are the lagging outcome of compounding daily choices, and the most critical decisions happen today, right now in that Pizza Pit of your life.
I’m sure plenty of people think, “What’s wrong with saying ‘tomorrow’ sometimes? That’s balanced. Balance is healthy.”
Sure, balance is healthy. But there are two problems with this:
- You don’t have that much time.
- The more your actions deposit toward your results, the greater the compounding.
Oh, and I forgot arguably the most important reason – I’m sure the results you want aren’t ‘normal.’ The self you imagine is probably something you conceived when you momentarily glimpsed your potential.
Well, if you want extreme results, you need extreme actions, and you won’t achieve that through ‘health’ and ‘balance.’
I mean, would it REALLY hurt my mom that much to have a Fish Fry every so often with a tall, cold Miller Lite?
Maybe not! In the big picture, it probably wouldn’t change anything here. But it would do one thing – she wouldn’t feel great the next day – and as benign as that sounds, it’s significant.
If she washes a fish fry down with a tall body on Friday, she’s going to feel ass on Saturday, which means the next opportunity she has to feel good is on Sunday.
That may seem harmless, a worthy tradeoff, but look closer – the trade is actually ruinous. Consider:
“Today” – Killer Mentality
- No Friday fish fry and beer. +1.
- Good Choices. +1
- Good Choices. +1
Total – +3.
“Tomorrow” – Not Killer Mentality
- Friday, Fish Fry and beer. -1
- Feel bad on Saturday, but resume choices. +1
- Good choices. +1.
Total – +1.
So, the Killer opened up a + TWO gap in THREE DAYS!
And actually, I’m hedging the gap because there’s no compounding element in there. Here’s where it gets really interesting.
In practice, good choices don’t aggregate; they compound. Let’s assume for every day you make a good choice, you get a 10% compounding bonus. Let’s redo the math:
Scenario 1: Compounding Good Choices (Killer Mentality)
Day 1:
Good choice: +1
Starting total: +1
Day 2:
Good choice: +1
Compounding effect: 10% of the previous day’s total (10% of +1) = +0.10
New total: 1 (previous total) + 1 (new good choice) + 0.10 (compounding) = +2.10
Day 3:
Good choice: +1
Compounding effect: 10% of the previous day’s total (10% of +2.10) = +0.21
New total: 2.10 (previous total) + 1 (new good choice) + 0.21 (compounding) = +3.31
Scenario 2: Linear Progression (Non-Killer Mentality)
Day 1:
Friday Fish Fry and beer: -1
Starting total: -1
Day 2:
Good choice: +1
New total: 0
Day 3:
Good choice: +1
New total: +1
Comparison After 3 Days
- Compounding (Killer Mentality) Total: +3.31
- Linear (Non-Killer Mentality) Total: +1
So, the difference isn’t just 2; it’s more like ~2.3 – Jesus.
And yes, if you run the math out to six months, the numbers quickly become absurd because, in reality, compounding would never be 10% for every Killer choice. However, if you lower the compounding effect to 1% instead of 10% after six months, this is the difference:
Compounding (Killer Mentality) Total: +500
Linear (Non-Killer Mentality) Total: +179
Difference – 321.
Oh.
Anyway, how’s your pizza? Mine is great. Don’t let that weirdo at the end of the booth eating a few almonds out of her purse make you feel bad about yourself. We can change tomorrow.